Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
