I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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