I accidentally burped into my bong.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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