I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
