He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
