you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
