He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
