I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
