I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
