I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
