So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
