he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
