the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
