There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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