His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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