Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
