I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
