Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
