His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
