i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
