I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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