It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
