I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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