Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
