You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
