Cold hands, warm shart.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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