oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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