Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
