I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
