i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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