Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
