They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
