dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
