Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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