I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
