So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
