David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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