Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
