"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i will never coherently bang her
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
