I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
