Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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