i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
