yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She needs sedatives and a leash
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
