oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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