problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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