I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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