Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Mom said you looked used
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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