I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
