Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
