so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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