I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
