i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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