Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
