so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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