I wanna bring you to show and tell
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
well you can't waste a boner
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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