OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
