dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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