I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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