mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
