You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
