I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
