Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
