What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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